How you feel about birth can change everything.

Every birth story is different but what about when you have a bad experience, how does this affect any future pregnancies? This is not a hypnobirthing story in the “traditional” sense but it is important to see how you feel can change everything.

Stacey shares her story …….

Nobody can really predict what the birth of their children will be like. It’s like following the weather reports – you have every faith that the day will turn out fine and pleasant but you know that there is the chance that they’ve got it all wrong. Even women like me who have already given birth in the past, can’t accurately tell how the next one will pan out.

My first birth was horrific. Every step of it was an unpleasant trip down a bumpy road. I was diagnosed with Polyhydramnios – extra amniotic fluid and let me tell you that by the end of my pregnancy, even after having some of it drained off, I looked  and felt like I was having triplets. Couple that with the heartbreaking knowledge that my child would be born with a birth defect and you can imagine how it must have felt.

The birth itself was a nightmare that comes back to haunt me, in flashes of fuzzy memory. Being induced, having my waters broken, my baby refusing to move, an epidural that didn’t work and eventually a c-section under general anaesthetic. By the time I came round after the operation, I was a shivering wreck of a woman, desperately wanting to see my child. I did eventually. Well, after twenty four hours and the next four months would see me diligently by his crib-side, feeling helpless, lost and alone.

You would think that would have put me off having any more children, and I can assure you it did for a while. However the brain has a funny way of softening the jagged edges of a nightmare, and before you know it, you’re pregnant with twins and dreading yet another horrific birth.

Was it as horrifying as I believed it would be?

Not one bit. It was so far away from my initial birthing experience, that I had to pinch myself at times to make sure it was real! There were little hiccups – gestational diabetes for one and low blood sugar at 37 weeks but by that time, I was ready to pay someone to deliver my double bundle of joy. There’s only so long your womb can take a beating from the inside, by two sibling rivals.

Delivery this time was like having an out of body experience. A planned c-section took the stress and worry out of the situation. As if in a dream, I sat on the edge of the operating table as I received both a spinal block and an epidural, just to be sure. Then back I went, drifting in the clinical white ether as all sensation left my body. It is the strangest and most wonderful feeling ever and I have to admit, I quite enjoyed it.

This time there was no going to sleep. I listened as the green-scrubbed surgeons discussed the insides of my body. I know how that bloke feels now in ‘operation’, immobile while someone does what feels like the washing up in your prone body. I then watched as one by one – a minute between them – my babies were brought into the world. A boy and a girl, one screaming in the crib to be held and the other nestled into the crook of his father’s arms.

My fondest memory of that day, was having my children placed onto my chest, beneath my gown as they stitched me up. The tears rolled down my cheeks at the sight of the two tiny human beings that I had grown inside me for nearly nine months. I had missed out on this wonderful experience with my first child, but this time I experienced all of it’s life-changing magic. They were both perfect.


Stacey blogs at