We are delighted to welcome Lynette as our new baby blogger, as she is just over half way through her 2nd pregnancy and she has been reflecting on how different it is from her first. This is her story….
It has taken me four years to come round to having a second child. Not because I don’t love being a mother. Motherhood is the greatest gift I have ever been given, and my son is my greatest achievement. The reason is quite simply that I have been too frightened.
I had a difficult start to my pregnancy with my son. It was a really difficult time, living on a knife edge everyday as to what could happen. We had arranged to have a home birth as the pregnancy had run smoothly after the initial 12 weeks. However, after a long labour, an ambulance ride, forceps delivery and a retained Placenta our beautiful little boy was born at 10:07am on the 24th September 2011. I swore to my husband that we would not be having any more children after the trauma from our son’s birth and the painful recovery. Why would anyone put themselves through that again?
Yet one day, something changed inside me. I felt completely different and I found myself wanting a second child. My husband too wanted another child; yet he knew how badly the birth had affected me the first time that he was worried how I would cope this time round. However, after the first month of trying we had conceived. I had no time to worry really as it had happened so quickly. We found out on Christmas day 2014. I didn’t quite believe it. So much so that I sent pictures of the pregnancy test to my best friend to confirm that I wasn’t going crazy. We were elated. I was desperate to share the news with the world. But, I was nervous. I knew of the problems that I had experienced with my son, and I knew there was a chance it could happen again. I don’t think anyone really relaxes until they have the 12 week scan, and then you only worry about the 20 week one. Without a doubt, pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions.
Yet now, as I sit here and type this at 24 weeks pregnant, if I am honest, I find that I have less time to worry about things like I did first time round. Believe me, I still worry, it is in my nature. But with working full time as a teacher, running round after a 3 year old and being a wife and looking after a home, I sometimes forget I am pregnant. If it wasn’t for the constant kicks and ever growing bump, I would swear that I wasn’t pregnant. I don’t have the constant hunger that I had with our son, I only have a bump rather than being chubby all-over this time. Perhaps it is because we are having a little girl?
I am finding it difficult not to overload on Pink. After we had our son, bizarrely we kept his clothes, but got rid of a lot of main items that we now need. Why, you may ask. Well, I was convinced that we would have no more children. So now, at 24 weeks pregnant, we need to go shopping. Luckily, we are off to The Baby Show at the NEC on the 15th May. I have told my husband to be prepared to carry a lot of bags, as I know from my previous visit with my mum, when pregnant with our son, that there is so much to buy and so many wonderful people there to give advice (and freebies) that his arms could ache by the end of the day. I am particularly looking forward to seeing Sarah Beeson MBE, baby expert and author of The New Arrival and Happy Baby, Happy Family. It really will be all about family that day as my Mum, Dad, Son, Sister In Law and Nephew are all coming too. I want it to be an experience that we all can share together, plus they are extra hands to carry bags.
I find myself wanting to be involved in more groups and forums to chat to other pregnant mums this time round. I am a huge supporter of the “Count the Kicks” campaign and all the work that they do. I have asked questions on their website to their guest midwife and it’s nice to speak to other mums who have the same worries that you do. I don’t feel quite so alone this time in my pregnancy. Or quite as mad.
I am nervous for labour, not because of the pain, because of course it hurts. (although The Rose Diaries founder insists that I need to embrace hypnobirthing). I think I am nervous of the unknown, and that the complications I had first time round could happen again. However, I remain positive and hopeful. Both The Duchess of Cambridge and I had labours that lasted the same amount of time with our little Princes, and she has had a short labour with her new Princess, perhaps I could be the same. Or perhaps I am just wishful thinking. One thing I know for sure is that I won’t look as amazing as she did after the birth of our little girl.
But when I look at our little boy and think of the difficult birth, I know that every pain and every stitch was worth it. My best friend tells me I should embrace being pregnant, enjoy the glowing stage and worry less.
I know that we have been given a gift that so many people long for.
I know how lucky we are………