Bump Envy : Empty Womb Syndrome

I was destined to be pregnant. I was designed to give birth. I have eternal bump envy but lately I have been conscious of my age and my empty womb. I was never going to be a scientist or a world leader but I can give birth. My body knows how to birth by instinct.

There is power that comes to women when they give birth. You don’t ask for it, it simply invades you and makes you feel like you can conquer the world.

I miss being pregnant.

I miss loving my changing pregnant body.

I find myself rubbing my stomach and then remember that there is no baby there.

I miss the flutters of feeling the baby move inside.

I miss the excitement and anticipation of the arrival of the baby.

But I have two gorgeous healthy girls, isn’t that enough? I know that if I never have any more children, they will absolutely be enough. I am getting older now and fear I may be closing the chapter on the pregnancy and birth part of my life. I know nature might have other ideas but I am creeping closer to 40 and I am acutely aware just how fast my life has gone by.

Am I being selfish? I know that I am so lucky, so unbelievably lucky to have given birth to two beautiful daughters. I gave birth on my sofa, using hypnobirthing and I feel sad that I may never experience that again.

I need to sit back and enjoy the current chapter of my life, I need to look at pregnant women with admiration, rather than envy. I need to change my mindset, the same way you do through hypnobirthing. I can do this. I can, I am sure of it.

I just don’t know what to do about the ache of never giving birth again. I am not sure I can change that mindset just yet …..

Hypnobirth – May 10

Kellie’s story…..

After having a first birth that was very long, hard and ended up in an epidural and an assisted delivery, when I fell pregnant again, I was really anxious about the birthing. I didn’t understand what had gone wrong for me and really wanted to have a better birth. After a friend told me about HypnoBirthing ™, myself and my husband did the course and I committed myself to it wholeheartedly, working hard to get the birth I really wanted.

To this day, I still can not believe how amazing giving birth should actually be. I ate, I slept, I walked, I was calm and in control and never felt anything more than a bad menstrual cramp.When Olivia was born, I was elated and really felt like I wanted to do it all again. And compared to our first baby, who cried and cried when she was born after being through a tough ordeal trying to arrive in the world, Olivia was so chilled out!

I feel so strongly that all women should experience this calm and more comfortable way of birthing, that I trained to be a HypnoBirthing ™ Practitioner with the HypnoBirthing ™ Institute and I feel really honoured to be able to share the specific yet simple techniques with expectant parents, so that they too can experience a better birth.

Kellie lives in Cheshire with her husband and 2 gorgeous daughters. She is a HypnoBirthing ™ Mum, a qualified trainer and Reflexologist. You can find out more at www.betterbirthhypnobirthing.co.uk 

livvy May 2010

Hospital Birth – 2nd Sept 13

This is a very personal post as it is about the arrival of my gorgeous nephew:

Here is Suzi’s story …..

Before my husband and I were trying for a baby the idea of giving birth filled me with fear, I even had to turn over when ‘one born every minute’ was on in case it put me off for life! When the miracle moment happened and we went for our 12 week scan and saw the little one in my belly, I knew it was time to face up to the inevitable.  Luckily my wonderful sister in law was on hand who had experienced an amazing birth the year previous, and introduced us to Hypnobirthing.

A little sceptical at first, I kept an open mind and started to read the Hypnobirthing book – two chapters in and I had already bought in; the theory that fear could counteract everything that the body and birthing muscles were trying to do, did make total sense.

We began to see Lee our Hynobirthing instructor at 28 weeks and she guided us through the relaxation and breathing techniques. She also filled us with the confidence and the knowledge to make sure we would have the best possible birth experience. With much practise behind us, we approached the final weeks of pregnancy and began to look forward to the day rather than fear it. We opted to have our baby at our local hospital where they had two water birth rooms, and so my birth plan was written – I would have a water birth, without pain relief, interventions and ‘instructions’ from the midwives, and use the Hypnobirthing techniques with the support from my husband to let my body do what nature intended. The only lingering question – would the hospital environment allow us this experience considering the stats for births without medical interventions in our modern day hospitals would suggest this was unlikely?

So, this is how the story goes… the evening before my due date, after consuming a spicy curry, my waters break (very cliché!), I have mild surges shortly after and the hospital call me in to be assessed. At 12am they are stronger and frequent so I start to listen to my music and use the breathing techniques, I am relaxed and in control, so much so that the midwife ensures me that ‘I would know it’ if I was in labour and suggests we may be going home shortly. She examines me and we are not going anywhere apart from the water birthing room! I birth and deliver my baby in the water as I had planned, I was not examined further or instructed, and we were left by the midwives to birth as I and my husband had intended. Although this was my first pregnancy, my body told me when I was entering the final stages and needed to ‘breath’ the baby down. I didn’t speak or open my eyes for nearly the entire time and the only voice I heard was my husband’s.

Our beautiful baby boy arrived 7 hours after getting to the hospital, and in such a calm atmosphere that the head midwife stayed past the end of her shift just to see him arrive! That is our story, that was our plan and this is what I believe is nature’s intent.

Welcome to the world Sidney Jack!

Sidney Jack

A Royal Hypnobirthing baby? Advice to avoid

As the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are getting ready for the imminent arrival of their first child, we were delighted to hear it reported that Kate has been using hypno birthing techniques to prepare herself for the birth. We are obviously huge advocates for the hypno birthing principles of a relaxed and natural birth and we would advise anyone to try the techniques but what about the unwanted advice that expectant parents get?

Some of my favourites have to be:

“I read this on the internet …..”  We all read things on the internet, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is right for you and your baby. It is not called “Dr Google”

“I think baby is hungry” Apparently some well meaning friends also have psychic abilities too. You know your baby best, just find your own natural rhythm.

We asked a collection of mums what they considered the baby advice to avoid?

Rebecca told us that one of the worse pieces of advice she was given was:

Having twins is easy because they entertain each other. Yeah they do – by encouraging each other to do as many naughty things as they can in a minute” and secondly “Sleep when they sleep – good advice when you have one – completely useless when you have more”

Alice said a collection of things, some we possibly couldn’t share but her top three were:

” You need to stock up on your sleep now whilst you can’… NO actually that is rubbish. Sleeping whist heavily pregnant is near on impossible

Are you ready?… Who is ever really ready for a baby???

Ignore the mums at playgroup,who say you must breastfeed and those that consider breastfeeding your baby is the only option, ever. Formula is there for a reason don’t feel guilty if it is your only option, as long as your baby is fed and happy

Touching on the sensitive subject of post natal depresion, Cas says:

“Happy mums make happy babies.” Oh right,  I’ll tell the PND that”

Andrea voiced the irritation of :

Any advice from strangers who approach you in the street/shops etc and touch your bump!”

And finally, Helen and Emma share advice that all second time mothers will smile at:

“Oh don’t worry, its so much easier going from one to two than none to one” …how do you entertain a 19 month old while trying to breastfeed a 2 week old!? Spare pair of arms anyone?!?

“Sleep when they are sleeping” This is ok advice with the first but what if you have school runs, cubs, dances classes. In those cases its more of a drink and eat when you can – forget sleep!

The comments here are all a little tongue in cheek but also things that have been genuinely said to expectant mothers. So with the arrival of the royal baby, we are quite sure that Kate and William will be given an abundance of love, gifts and countless advice from well wishers but ultimately it is their baby and they should find the natural way for them and their baby.

Finally, we were shown this infographic this week from Care.com and whilst their findings were a little different to ours, we thought it was perfect light hearted way to end this post. Enjoy ……

care.com-new-parent-survey