With a baby on the way, there’s plenty of people and literature – not to mention marketing materials – that are more than willing to fill you in on how to prepare for the birth. Whether it’s how to decorate a nursery so it’s cutesy and practical, what you need to do to baby proof your home, or the endless array of advice on routines, it seems that the whole world and his ‘good-with-children’ dog are dishing out pearls of wisdom.

Of course, baby is bound to be on your mind. It’s only natural. That said, while it’s tempting to focus your energies on clothes, sterilisers, and the perfect décor, this is the time for some serious self-soothing.

When you realise you have a little one on the way, Mother Nature usually hands you the gift of time. You have months to sort all the practical stuff. Seriously, as standard, it’s ten months. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s nine! Whether this is your first baby or not, when your bundle arrives, your world will be turned upside down. Pregnancy is your time to prepare mentally and spiritually for what’s ahead. And you can always pepper that with some must-do decorating.

Maybe you consider yourself a young mum, an old mum, a not-so-maternal mum. Maybe you’re a thrown-in-the-deep-end mum, a planned-pregnancy mum, or a struggled-to-make-this-happen mum. However you identify, when you’re going to rock this, and mindfulness strategies can really help you through.

Invest in a little notepad. Choose some affirmations and reassure yourself that you can totally do this. You got this!

Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself, whether out loud or internally, to wash away any negative thoughts that may come to mind. The science behind affirmations is that your thoughts become your reality. Think positive and you are more likely to have a positive pre- and post-natal experience. Affirmations can be written by anyone and work best when they specifically address individual qualms. It’s as simple as saying, ‘I am a strong woman. I will be a loving, caring, and supportive mother. I can do this and I believe in myself.’

Rest! It might be hard when you’re uncomfortable, sore, and hot, but do all you can to make sleep happen. Take relaxing baths, read before bed, fill the air with calming scents. Ditch screens in the bedroom, and allow yourself to drift into natural sleep. Sleep nurtures the body, allowing it the time and resources it needs to rejuvenate during this exhausting period of prenatal development. Likewise, gentle exercise such as swimming or leisurely strolls can be a real energy booster, releasing hormones that leave you feeling fab.

Don’t forget to spend time with your partner, too. While the pregnancy part of things is very much you, it’s important to share the experience with that special someone in your life. Sure, you may well attend appointments together, but don’t ditch date night. Cosy up, catch a film, go for a meal, enjoy one another’s company and build a stronger bond that you’ll cherish and appreciate all the more once your newborn enters the world.

Christmas has become more and more commercial, expensive and frankly exhausting for parents, when it should be a time for relaxing and spending time with the people you love. This year, we are stripping back on the gifts that we are buying, rather than spending money we are spending time together and creating memories not mountains of toys.

That said, when there is a new baby in the family people just can’t resist buying for them so we have put together a list of great gift ideas that are useful, affordable and that both mum and baby will love.

PRE OR POST NATAL MASSAGE

This is something that I personally was a BIG fan of. Friends bought me vouchers for Christmas and as a new baby gift as just for a single hour, a massage allows a new mum to switch off and just relax. Which is usually quite rare when you have a new baby.

Our personal top picks for the most relaxing venues are:

The Hart Spa – based in Middleton in the Heart of England, they offer a range of treatments including pre and post natal massage. The Hart Spa instils a sense of calm, well- being and serenity, it’s a perfect retreat. Their signature candles are lit throughout the spa, hair studio and treatment rooms providing a delicate and beautiful aroma which is designed to bring comfort to a stressed nervous system to deliver peace, calm, and encourage relaxation.

Clarins – This is a nationwide brand and accessible in most large towns and cities. Their therapists are trained in helping you to choose the best treatment and adapt it to each stage of your pregnancy,

NADUR PULSE POINT – £19.50

The NADUR pregnancy anti-nausea pulse point contains Red Mandarin essential oil which is one of the safest essential oils to use during pregnancy. Mandarin oil helps to calm the nervous system and its relaxing properties make it effective for alleviating nausea and ideal for a mum to be. We all know that during pregnancy, certain smells can make you feel nauseous but a quick roll of this on your pulse point and inhaling its relaxing scent can make all the difference.

It isn’t just suitable for pregnant ladies as it is 100% Natural, NON-TOXIC, vegan & gluten free, it appeals to a wider audience too. At 10ml it might be a little gift that can make a big difference.

JOHNSONS TOP TO TOE BABY RANGE – New Born Starter Kit RRP £11.99

GIFT VOUCHERS

We don’t mean the kind of vouchers that you can buy in a department store, we mean vouchers for baby sitting or sleep tokens. There is nothing more valuable to a new mum than someone they can trust staying with their little one for a few hours just so they can grab a few hours sleep!

Finally and we know that there are probably some sleep deprived nights ahead but how about looking at some Christmas party venues in London to let mum blow off some steam and dance the night away.

Once you have decided on those few Christmas Gifts this year, the next decision is wrapping paper and making sure that it is the ethical and environmental choice as not all wrapping paper is paper. Some is plastic-based. Then there’s the issue of gift wrap that’s covered in “metres of Sellotape”, not to mention gift tags or paper that contains foil or glitter, none of which can be recycled. So how do you check? Try to scrunch up the paper into a ball. If it scrunches, and stays scrunched, it can probably be recycled.

The best option, choose brown paper and decorate it. It is much more personal and better for the environment. If you want something a little more festive, try and find a recycled paper instead.

We started this post about making sure that there is no over indulgence at Christmas time. The Rose Diaries is all about natural choices, empowering and supporting each other and while a few select gifts like those we have chosen above can be given from the heart, spending time together rather than money is always the very best gift of all.

Today we are delighted to share a guest blog post from Rosie at Mamawell. Mamawell focuses holistically on the balance between mental and physical health throughout motherhood, which is a perfect discussion for The Rose Diaries.

There is increasing pressure felt by new mums to have the ‘perfect’ pregnancy and birth experience, and to bounce back like it was a small insignificant event. But as anyone who has given birth knows, it is life changing and emotional in all cases, and in some circumstances extremely complicated. Birth and pregnancy should not be dismissed as just something women have to go through, and that we should just keep quiet about the experience, the mental and physical challenges, the loss or overwhelming emotions both positive and negative. All pregnant women have their own idea of the ‘perfect’ birth – for some this may involve an epidural, others may want to be in a birthing pool, others may prefer to opt for C-section. The most important thing is to find a method that you are not just comfortable, but confident with, and own it without judgement.

Birth is rarely a textbook, linear process, but can meander through so many stages and it is where it’s starts to move from the planned process that women start to feel like they have lost their ‘perfect’ birth and are out of control. But instead, if we follow nature, with the addition of the guidance of the experts, we can allow the changing birth process to become our new ‘perfect’ plan. Finding balance between the envisaged birth and the reality can be very challenging for many women, and rightly so. In many cases there are underlying instances of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) present months after the birth. Often even family can’t fully understand, as it seems like life is complete once the new baby is here. If the birth didn’t go to plan it is really important to gain understanding and closure, and the post-birth consultation with the hospital staff is often incredibly useful in bridging the gap between the perception and reality of the birth.

On the flip side, there is sometimes judgement passed about those women who have a natural birth, with few complications, maybe no painkillers and not too much drama. This side of the story is equally important and should be celebrated without judgement. My own experience with hypnobirthing thankfully led me to the conscious, quiet, intervention and medication-free birth that I had hoped and planned for, and I’m beyond thankful for that opportunity. But as I approached full term I remember talking to my husband about what I would do if things didn’t go the way I planned. I felt that my months of focus on reframing the terminology of birth, and breathing exercises would be all for nothing if I had to change to a different birth plan. On discussion, I realised that all the research and practise I had done had prepared me for my birth, whatever form it took. That using my breathing and meditation techniques would be helpful from the moment my waters broke, that being quiet and still where needed, and keeping active where required would also be useful whether I birthed in the birthing centre or on the ward. Just having the possibility of using these techniques gave me so much more freedom and confidence and helped me manage my expectations of birth vs the reality.

In conclusion, giving birth is not something you can programme to ‘perfection’ and there are a multitude of interactions that can cause things to go off plan. Educating yourself on the birth style that appeals to YOU will allow you to focus your energy, but understanding that if things don’t go to plan there are still many options is key. The ultimate goal for the midwife is safety of the baby and mother, and they will guide you on the most suitable route for this. Talking about your birth, being kind to yourself, not judging yourself or others are key ways to start processing the birth. And if you’re lucky enough to have a healthy baby in your arms, be reminded that the birth is just the beginning of your motherhood story.

Rosie runs MAMAWELL – wellness and fitness for new mums and had a positive hypnobirthing delivery of her daughter Charlotte, 2 years ago.

Please visit www.mamawell.org for more details.